When jokes

Santa

My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.

Sister

When I was 8, my sister was half my age. I am 60 now, how old is my sister?

Comments: 30! Give me an easier question next time!

School Shooter

When the school shooter is getting roasted because of his Pokemon lunch box, but they don't know that there is a Glock 34 inside.

Dick

Your dick is so small they thought you were a girl when you came into the world.

Memes

Shooter

When the school shooter gives the autistic kid a glock and he shoots himself, thinking it’s a cigarette.

Space

What do you call it when Neil Armstrong started cuming in space?

The Milky Way.

Dog

Little Johnny got a dog without ears, and then they invited their neighbors over. Then they asked what his name was. The owners said, "We didn't name him anything, because there's no reason. Because when we called his name, he wouldn't come."

Orphan

What do you get when you cross the terms homeless and abandoned?

POORphan

Tube

Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light up when she touched him.

Woman

Women are like tornadoes.

They scream when they are coming and take your house when they are leaving.

Dick pic

When you send a dick pic and she sends one back,

I'm glad mine is the biggest, so I get to fuck my dad again.

Cat

What does a cat say when it's angry?

- Stop stressing meowt!

Blood Type

What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he's blood type "eh"? "Ah, probably just go with blood typo!"

King

What did kings say when they were made king?

Allah ail (All hail) [insert name here]!

Thyme

A guy goes to the store to buy thyme.

When he got back to put the thyme away he realized he still had thyme left. This was all for nothing, it was just a big waste of your thyme.

Prison

I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.