When jokes

What does Sonic wear when he goes to the beach? A speedo.

Orphans have it lucky.

When teachers threaten to call parents, the orphans say, "Try me."

When teachers give homework, orphans say, "Where?"

What is it called when you talk in Panera Bread?

Panera said.

Yo mama is so fat that when she is about to put her foot on the scale, the scale begs for mercy.

You are so ugly when your mum dropped you off at school, she got fined for littering.

I am so depressed! I get jealous when my phone dies.

Yo mama so fat that when she bought food, she ran out of money.

When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."

Yo mama is so fat that when she fell over, she created the Grand Canyon.

Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.

My cousin: “How’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when you’re at softball practice?!”

Me: “Lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”

My Mrs is going to hit the roof when she realizes I've replaced the bed with a trampoline!

When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."

What did Stephen Hawking say—I mean, type—when he saw a beautiful woman?

"That's the best shag I never had."

When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:

What do Michael Vick and John Wick have in common?

Got into deep shit when it came to dogs.

So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why he does not wear a costume, and he said he doesn't need to.

Then I realized that he's a ghost and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!

Mary had a great big ram, his fleece was white as snow, when on hands and knees our Mary went, his wad was sure to blow.

Month by month her belly grew, increasing in its girth, and when five months had flown by, our Mary did give birth.

And Mary had a little lamb, a little lamb, a little lamb...

Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!

Three kids one day found a magic slide. There was a sign next to it that said, "Slide down and your wish will come true." The first kid slid down and wished for a chocolate river. He landed in a chocolate river.

When the 2nd kid slid down he wished for a bunch of money. He landed in a pile of money.

Finally, the 3rd kid slid down, and he said, "WEEEE!!!!!!"