When jokes
Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.
What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?
A ventriloquist.
When the teacher gives me an F on my exam,
but I have an AK-47 in my backpack.
*Is honestly the best policy.*
The highest level of trust in the world is when two cannibals are each giving each other blowjobs.
When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?
Alphaville - "Forever Young."
Yo mama so ugly, that when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho- HOLY SHIT!"
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...
It don't moan when u put milk inside.
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"
The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."
What did Adam say when he saw Eve?
Answer: "Woman!"
Don’t you hate it when your teacher(s) say, “just focus, it’s that easy?”
And then you die inside.
What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?
Time to get in trouble!
What do you get when you cross a pedophile and an elementary school? Predator 3.
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sourpuss.
Fat people should expect big things when they take their shirt off.
What happens to a baby when you let it run loose? It can't cause it can't run yet.
When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?
What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?
He said he was awfully touched!
Roses are red, violets are blue, when The Oh Hellos saw you they said "Shoo!"
Yo mama so fat, when I went to the beach, the sun went down.