When jokes
What did Allah say when he created the universe?
-Allahu akbar!!!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.
Your mama is so fat that when she was playing online, she crashed the whole server.
What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?
Run over.
What do you do when you're sad? Kick an orphan!
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?
They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.
Memes
Worst punishment of all
Q: What happens when an Asian with an erection walks into a wall?
A: He breaks his nose.
Michael Jackson is happy when there are twenty-eight-year-olds.
What do you do when you're bored?
I beat up orphans.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
I didn’t know Stephen Hawking died. Oh god, it must have been when I disconnected the Wi-Fi!
What is the difference between a normal joke and a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.
Roses are red, violets are blue, When I see you, I play with my poo.
When does it rain money?
When there's a change in the weather.
What happens when premenstrual Raggedy Ann gets with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Yo mama so fat, when she joined Team 10...
It became TEAM, 10, TONS!
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
What time is it when a nurse's here?
It's nurse-thirty.
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.
The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.
What's the difference between an air blower and Little Boy?
When the air blower blew, it did not wipe out Hiroshima.