When jokes
My balls are high, just like the towers, but when something impales them, they begin to sag.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was 5.
Your mama so fat when she stepped on a scale it said, "Ma'am, take the bowling ball off of the scale!"
You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."
We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:
1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.
2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.
3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).
When one just isn't enough
What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?
Her miscarriage.
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.
Me: You f&*k up.
The class: Oh sh!&
Ok, so I have a joke for you, go look in the mirror and when you realize, come back to me and tell me.
Yo momma's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out.
It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001. I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.
When you step on the scales, it says "to be confined."
When they said Titanic was "unsinkable," then they said, "The World Trade Centers was uncollapsible."
Why do orphans become criminals when they grow up? Because they want to be wanted.
How do you know when it's bedtime in the Netherlands?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.
Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?
Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.
2k14 was so realistic when I switched to Kobe, the pass button stopped working.
Yo mama is so fat that when she was at school, they needed a satellite to take her school photo.
When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq, they asked if I could drive the car.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes on a diet, it ends world hunger.