When jokes
I was baking a cake when I saw some egg shell in the mix. I said, "You've got to be yolking me!"
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
Yo mama so dumb, when a kid told her to “give her a fag,” she kidnapped Ricardo!
I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, I also got jealous.
What noise did Steven Hawking make when he died?
Windows shutting down.
...maybee
People tell Kobe to fly high, but when he flew high, he died.
When you're exercising and you feel the “gush.”
When Peter Pan jumped off the Twin Towers, what happened? He Neverland.
The cashier kicked me out because when he asked for 99 cents, I gave him 99 scents.
I asked an emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.
You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.
When I get naked in the shower, it gets turned on.
What happens when you have dry elbows at work?
You don't have any elbow grease to put into it.
Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
What did the cannibal say when his friend fell on the floor?
"5 second rule!"
What does Meg do when she gets a cold sore?
She bathes in diarrhea.
I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.
When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!
What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?
They both erupt when triggered.