When jokes

When the North Tower saw the South Tower collapse, he would say, "I'm still standing."

What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...

It don't moan when u put milk inside.

When the school shooter says to get on the ground, but the sped kid thinks it's Simon Says!

When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?

Alphaville - "Forever Young."

What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.

What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?

A ventriloquist.

You know when people say a joke about living?

That's because we are all living a joke.

Yo mama so fat, when she went on the weighing scale, it said, "To be continued."

When life gives you melons, You’re probably dyslexic.

Yo mama so ugly, that when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho- HOLY SHIT!"

Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.

Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.

When God gives you glory, you give it back.

We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:

1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.

2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.

3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).

Yo momma's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out.

It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001. I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.

Ok, so I have a joke for you, go look in the mirror and when you realize, come back to me and tell me.

Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"

The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."

You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."

When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.

Me: You f&*k up.

The class: Oh sh!&