When jokes

I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.

Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.

Just think, when we're getting fucked, we make our own food.

🎨🧑🏻‍🦰 day was that good fun day at home 🏠. I had to the earth and I love it when you get a home and walk walk home from school and walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home 🏠. Was your birthday 🎁? I did.

You're so trash that when I dropped you off, I got a ticket for littering.

When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you.

When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called--sheesh!

When I hit a home run, I finally felt what it was like to have a home.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.

When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?

I think that you're an accident!

Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!

Edna: Hey there big boy!

Big boy: You need to stop doing this.

Is it all right when there is nothing left?

What did Santa say when he got to the club? Ho, ho, ho!

What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!

I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.

What does Michael Jackson say when he grabs his crotch? I never noticed that before.

Yo mama is so old, when I told her to act her age, she died.

What do you call it when an orphan goes to Panera Bread?

"Panera, my parents are dead."

If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.

Yo mama so fat when the doctor saw her weight on the scale he said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"

Yo momma's so ugly, when she threw a boomerang, it refused to come back.