When jokes

We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:

1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.

2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.

3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).

What did Jesus say when they removed the nails from his hands?

"Feet! Feet!"

Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.

When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

When you step on the scales, it says "to be confined."

When they said Titanic was "unsinkable," then they said, "The World Trade Centers was uncollapsible."

Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"

The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."

You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."

What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?

It's funnier when kids get it.

Your mama so fat when she stepped on a scale it said, "Ma'am, take the bowling ball off of the scale!"

What happened when the Japanese guy offered Logan Paul a high five?

He left him hanging.

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was 5.

Ok, so I have a joke for you, go look in the mirror and when you realize, come back to me and tell me.

Yo momma's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

Jesus will be history when I realize he's behind me.

I was at school when I remembered I forgot my necklace, then I screamed out, "Shit, I forgot Grandpa!"

How do you know when it's bedtime in the Netherlands?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

Why do orphans become criminals when they grow up? Because they want to be wanted.