When jokes

"Stop telling these orphan jokes!! Maybe some people that read these are orphans!"

I'll stop telling orphan jokes when their parents come back.

When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!

Why did the alarm go off when the emo and his friends left the store when they checked everything out?

The emo forgot to roll his sleeves up.

Q: What happens when emos make out?

A: They don't; they just hang out.

What do we want? A cure for obesity.

When do we want it? After lunch.

What do a baby and a grenade have in common? They both make loud noises when thrown.

I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."

I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"

I bet emo kids are jealous when their phone dies.

Halloween joke:

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?

A blood test.

What is six inches, goes in your mouth, and it's fun when it vibrates? A toothbrush.

What is the worst tool to play when playing the game “Icebreaker”?

The Titanic.

When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.

What do you call it when a man wants food in Panera?

Panera bread serving food.

They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.

Why go across town when you can go across the hall?

When an orphan takes a selfie, it's technically a family photo. :)

When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"

What did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?

"Meoooow!"

Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.

Question: What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Answer: Dam.