When jokes

Funeral

When Cincinnati played Alabama in 2021, they wore black at their funeral! 🤣

Mosquito

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.

Candy

When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...

Baby

"Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."

Yo mama

Yo mama so fat that when she went out in high heels, she came back in flip flops.

Memes

Creep

What did the creep do when the woman said, ā€œMake yourself at home?ā€

He hid in her attic.

Viola

What’s the difference between an onion and a viola?

No one cries when they cut up the viola.

Violist

Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.

Violist

Why do violists smile when they play? Because ignorance is bliss, and they don't know what can't hurt them.

Emo

What happens to Emos when they go up?

They never come down.

Emo

What do you say when an emo cuts themself?

"Like your cut, G."

Phone

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.

Why? You ask.

Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.

Phone

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)

People

I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)

Priest

Why are people suspicious when a priest yells "Attention Kmart shoppers"?

Boy's pants are half off.