When jokes
What does Michael Jackson say when he stubs his toe?
Ow!
Man, we all have the one cool sibling, then the strong sibling, and then you, the one who plays on their iPad or computer all day. Then, when you are on vacation, you are doing nothing at all.
GF: What did you use as kissing when you were little?
Me: My sister.
SWEET HOME ALABAMAA
When Chinese babies are born, they should put "MADE FROM CHINA."
People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!
1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.
When you have a baby that likes water then changed their mind:
What did the Indian say when he bumped into someone else?
"Sari."
When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.
What did the marshmallow say when he was roasting in the fire? "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"
What happens when a guy is in a pool with a deck and no one is around? The guy has to pee, get up on the deck, and stick it between the bars and pee.
A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.
When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"
The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.
Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"
God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"
Me: *writes Kahoot about me then finishes.*
Me and friend: *plays Kahoot.*
A question: When is (my name) happy?
Friend: *puts a good answer and gets wrong.*
Answer: Never, only a portion.
Friend: Do you need help?
Thanks Ethan for all you've done. We've both made mistakes when all is said and done, but just thanks for being a good friend. This is officially my last post on here, Ethan-Real 1.
When do Americans answer their door?
Once freedom rings! ❤️🤍💙
What sound do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?
Meow.
What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching? A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.
When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.
When you think about it, Hitler wasn’t a bad person. He killed Hitler.
Who remembers when Gwen was the only thing people talked about on this website?
What do cannibals think when they see a pregnant woman?
"Kinder Egg surprise."