When jokes

When it's April Fool's Day, go to an orphan and say, "Their parents should come back!"

Three people explored the jungles, one was from France, one from Britain, and the other from America.

While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three, "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However, we aren't that heartless, so we'll let you choose your deaths."

So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head, and said "Viva la France!" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested poison and said, "For the Queen!" and drank the poison. Lastly, the American asked for a spoon. The tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself, "Try make a canoe out of this one!"

I was working at a check-in station for a flight to Riyadh when suddenly I was approached by Benzema, Kante, and Neymar!

At first I was very surprised and curious, so I asked them why they decided to play in the Saudi Pro League and not MLS where GOAT Messi plays. They all smiled and happily replied: "Don't you know, the legendary bench warmer PRISTIANO PENALDO plays there!"

Now I fully understood what they meant! They know that Pristiano is already finished, so winning trophies will be easy for them. I smiled and happily let them through.

Me: Want to hear a joke?

Friend: Sure.

Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.

Friend: What's funny about that?

Me: Because the next day they disowned me.

Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?

So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.

What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?

They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.

When the school shooter says to get on the ground, but the sped kid thinks it's Simon Says!

One man's trash is another man's treasure. That sucks when you are adopted.

Who needs dating apps when you have family reunions?

When is the only time Kamala Harris is using her head? When she is giving head.

Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."

I swear I always finish on page 3 when I'm looking at family pictures.

Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," He was just asking her to move.

What do you call it when a white person beats a black person?

A KKKO.

What is six inches, goes in your mouth, and it's fun when it vibrates? A toothbrush.

You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

What is the worst tool to play when playing the game “Icebreaker”?

The Titanic.

I bet emo kids are jealous when their phone dies.

What do a baby and a grenade have in common? They both make loud noises when thrown.