When jokes

Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.

When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.

My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type...

His last words to us were, “Be positive!”

Jack and Jill went up the hill, both had Bacardi rum. When Jill's was gone, she wanted Jack's, that's why she took it from him.

When I went to basketball training, there was a giant bag of basketballs on the floor.

My friend was like, "That's a huge sack of balls!"

He didn't realize what was about to happen.

"That's what she said!"

I told my mom, "Do you want to see a magic trick?" She said yes. I said, "You are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." My mom said, "No, I'm not," but I told my mom, "I'm going to need your assistance." First, I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attached to me, which she did. The next minute my mom has a cream pie over her face. Then I told my mom, "You see, you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." Then my mom said, "When you are right, you are right."

What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?

"It's dye-ing."

When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?

Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.

Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.

In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.

Your momma is so old, when she went to the antique store, they wouldn't let her leave.

I was on the Oregon trail with my friend's brother, Carl. He got cholera, so we threw him off the wagon. When we came back, he was having a seizure and pooping uncontrollably. It was pretty cholerious.

Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.

I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.

My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.

Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.

Yo mama's so dumb, when a robber stole her TV, she said, "You forgot the remote!"

💪 💪 🏋️‍♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?

Cum Junkie.

Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?

A: Make sure to come upstairs!

What time is it when you get home and you can walk, walk? Eeeeeew!

Your forehead is too big. I can see my future when it shines.

When you go over a speed bump, but you remember that there are no speed bumps in the school zone.

When the school shooter breaks into your classroom, so you try to say goodbye to your Roblox gf, but then the shooter's phone goes off.

When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.

But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!