When jokes

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Basement

Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!

Officer: You OK, kid?

Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.

Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*

When officer leaves:

Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?

Relationship

Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.

Panera

Ok guys, I have one last joke (for now).

What do you call it when Panera is over?

Panera end.

Memes

When memes

Chair

I was trying to hang the lights when I accidentally kicked the chair.

Orphan

Why can't orphans really play baseball?

Because when they do, all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.

Shooter

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.

Fat

You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"

Momma

Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her titties, I got a mouth full of knee.

Life

Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.

And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.

Toy

Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

Orphan

How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?

Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.

Mama

Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.