When jokes
What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?
When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgment.
What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?
And microtransaction.
What did 50 do when he was hungry?
58.
Q: What is it called when a hoe is getting ready for her party but doesn't know what to wear but is thinking about it? A: A thotprosses
My father is like Houdini. When he heard his girlfriend was pregnant, he disappeared.
Where did Sally go when the explosion happened?
Everywhere!
When you're 34, it'll be 420 months before you turn 69 years old.
Secretly, I’m a woman catfishing gay men on Grindr. When a notification from the app went off, my son told me, “I’ve heard that sound. Daddy has that game, too!”
I hate when my brother dates other people.
Just kidding! 😵😵😵😵
When you realize you forgot to mop your room, you hear footsteps.
What do you do when a Panera Bread panera breads?
Panera Bread.
When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"
Did the people of England see a "game over" sign in the sky when the queen died?
When you meet your gf at the family reunion.
I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.
When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.
What do you call it when you rickroll someone in the LGBTQ?
You just got fruit-rolled.
What time is it when it turns 13 o'clock?
Time to get a new watch.
What time is bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"
But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.