When jokes
A 10 year old girl lays in her bed and excitedly waits for Santa to come. When Santa eventually comes she giggles, shivers, and orgasms.
Finally, as a special thank you, she sucks off Santa’s wet cock.
When does the slowest person go as fast as a train?
When he is on the train.
What is the worst tool to play when playing the game “Icebreaker”?
The Titanic.
Girl, you are so ugly that when you look in the mirror, it shatters, more than your relationship.
What’s it called when an orphan takes a photo?
A family picture.
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
When you think you can’t fail anymore if you’re dead, then you fail at suiciding.
Why do I look nervous when I enter the church? Is it just because I'm the only one with the bomb?
Your manna so fat your father will be coming around the mountain when he cums.
Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out Boys II Men wasn't a delivery service.
What do depressed people do when they’re bored?
They “Hang” Out.
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!
You're so bald that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like roll-on deodorant!
Why are bald people very easily manipulated by a shower?
Because when they take a bath, they get brainwashed!
When you see someone, you say, "Go suck bananas."
Joe Mama so fat, when she told a joke nobody laughed, but the floor was cracking up.
Roses are red, the grass is greener, when I see you, I play with my wiener.
Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT," she thought it's a food court and ordered 20 Big Macs and got a heart attack.
You're old enough to remember when emojis were called "hieroglyphics."