When jokes

Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale, the scale said, "I'm trying to get your weight, not your phone number!"

- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.

- How did the gay person die? Homicide.

- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.

- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.

- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.

- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.

- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.

When you name yourself "Twin Towers" and the terrorist in Kahoot.

Twin Towers are on fire.

The terrorist has a streak of two.

How did Santa feel when he got stuck in the chimney?

Claus-trophobic.

I am a racist, and I put my milk before cereal. Well, to be honest, that was when I had milk, but one day my dad says he was going to get some... then he left.

Now when I see a black guy, I yell, "Thanks for picking the cotton to make my shirt!"

What did the grim reaper say when his favorite car commercial came on? "Safe life repair, safe life replace!"

When Peter Pan jumped off the Twin Towers, what happened? He Neverland.

I get jealous when my phone dies.

What did the hooker say when she found out the cash she was paid with for services rendered was counterfeit?

I've been raped!

An adopted kid is walking to school when an emo kid approaches him. He says the emo kid, "Do you have rope?"

"No," replies the adopted kid.

"Dang it! I hate you," says the emo kid. "Now the adopted one is angry. Well, at least I'm loved," says the adopted kid.

If you know an emo kid, please stay away. The depression is contagious. I'm a survivor.

Like if you dislike emos.

Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?

When I was your age, we had Wacko Jacko, not Florida Man.

What did the terrorist do when New York didn’t want his food:

Here comes the airplane.

When you accidentally wipe a little too hard and your finger goes up your bumhole, triggering flashbacks of when you were 10 and your uncle stayed a few weeks. 😂

What do you do when your man doesn't like fruit jokes?

Let the mango.

When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"

My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.

Science experts say when you get mad, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

My pencil sharpener when I bleed:

And I don't really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.

Emos get jealous when their phone dies.