Whats jokes
What do you call a fat woman that prays?
A holy cow.
You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What instrument do people like to listen to while having sex?
A sex-a-phone.
What's the grossest mission NASA could do?
Probing Uranus.
What did a fat cow give you?
Homework.
Memes
What was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?
Bullets.
What’s a nun's weapon of choice?
Nun-chucks.
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.
What's Helen Keller's favorite color?
Corduroy.
What's the best way to find the Twin Towers?
Bucket.
The Bigfoots had a campfire. One Bigfoot asked what should we roast next. The other replied, "Maybe a penis and a girl."
What was the score of the basketball game in Africa?
Eight-nothing.
What did Pluto say to Saturn while barbecuing steaks?
"Mine is meatier than yours."
What did one tampon say to the other tampon?
Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches!
What is a bald eagle's favorite chip?
Preagles!
Me: I’m gonna smite the life out of you!!!
Orphan: What! No! Please no!
Me: What you gonna do? Run home and tell your parents? Wait, I forgot, you don’t have a home or parents!!!!
What's the difference between my basement and my garage?
One has a pile of babies' bodies; the other has their heads.
My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.
What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and my kid?
I only stuff the turkey.
What time is it when you cannot walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽