Whats jokes
Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.
What do you call a bus full of kids? A killstreak.
What's gassy and as cold as ice? Uranus.
What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)
What's a cat's favorite color? Purr-ple.
I like this episode
If seagulls fly over the sea, what flies over the bay?
Bagels.
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
What is a rabbit's favorite type of jewelry?
Carats.
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?
Beets stain your teeth.
What is a cow's favorite water sport?
Ca-MOO-ing!
What did Sally get for her 18th birthday? A brick.
Why did she get a brick? She hit 18.
What did the poop say to the toilet paper? “You’re on a roll!”
What did one condom say to the other condom as they were passing a gay bar? "Let's go get shit faced!"
What do you say to a magician with autism?
Are you "Autism-ic?"
Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. Their names were Johony and Papa.
All of the sudden, Johony passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says “911, what's your emergency?” The hunter replies “My son just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says “Ok, now what?”
What’s the difference between Jimmy and a normal kid? Jimmy is fat.
What's thick, 12 inches, and in your mum's throat?
My penis.
What did the girl get for Christmas?
Cancer.
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson likes little boys.
In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.
They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"
The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."