What kind of file do you need to turn a 15 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile.
Whats Jokes
The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.
He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."
Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."
So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.
Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"
The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
What do you call Indian dhal that is delicious?
Well, that is DHALicious!
Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."
Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.
What is a redneck virgin?
Answer: A seven-year-old that can run faster than her brothers!
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
What is found under Michael Jackson's pillow?
Billie's jeans.
Orphan: Asks you random joke. What is the difference between my boomerang and my parents?
Me: The boomerang came back.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
You only need 1 nail to hang a painting!
What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
My friend: Hey, I got 15 kills!
Me: I got 60 kills!
My friend: I didn't know you played Call of Duty!
Me: What's Call of Duty?
"Hey, today was great!"
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car!"
What kind of ball does Amy Rose like? Blue balls.
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion.
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang from trees.
What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?
A blast from the past!
What's a similarity of an orphan and a deaf kid?
They both can't hear their parents.
What was going through the head of a 9/11 victim on the 88th floor?
The 89th floor.
