Whats jokes

What was the last thing Stephen Hawking said before he died?

"Windows Shut Down."

What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.

What do you call a cow that doesn't stop shaking?

A milkshake.

What is a bus ride that is dumb? A boring one.

What does 1nan + 1nan = 2 smelly fucking dusty dumb fuck nans?

What has 10 wheels and flies? A garbage truck.

What was the incontinent farmer's greatest problem? He managed his carrot patch but couldn't control his peas!

What is an example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.

What do you call a kid with a special sense of humor? Autism, hahaha!

What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?

Pikachu, I choose you!

What did one plate say to the other plate?

"Dinner's on me."

What's the difference between a baby and a cooked chicken?

Several hundred calories.

What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?

You don’t need consent.

What's an old Japanese man's last words?

"Hey, that cloud looks like a mushroom, or is it just me?"

POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?

Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?

What's the difference between a white woman and a tornado siren?

The tornado siren doesn't get raped.

This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."

The very young and pretty nun was walking home from the soup kitchen when a homeless man dragged her into the woods and had his way with her.

When he was done, he asked her what she would tell the Mother Superior when she got back to the convent. She calmly said that she would tell her the truth.

She said: "I will tell her that I was on my way home when the most disgusting, repulsive, and abhorrent man dragged me into the woods and had his way with me... twice; that is if you are not too tired."

💔 The Broken Family 💔 . Part 1

Girl: Mom, dad tried to have sex with me last night.

Mom: Are you serious?? (Shocked)

Girl: Yah. He said I must kiss him after he didn't want to let me go.

Mom: Am gonna kill ur dad (Angry)

Girl: Please mom, we still need him, who will buy use food and clothes. You don't have a job mom.

Mom: But what he did was wrong.

Girl: I know.

(SOUND OF A CAR COMING IN)

Mom: Is that ur dad.

Girl: Yes Mom

Comment Part 2

So a lady was walking down the street with two bags, and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills. A cop pulls up and he says, “Ma’am, ma’am, your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills.” Then she says, “Oh, thank you. I wonder how long that’s been going on.” And the cop says, “Before I help you, may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bills?” And the lady says, “OK, I’ll tell you. So I live next to a stadium, and I have this beautiful rose garden, but these dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes. So they stick their junk through the fence, and I grab their junk. I said, ‘$100 dollars or it’s coming off.’” The cop says, “Oh, OK, well what’s the other bag for?” And she says, “Well, not all of them want to give me $100.”