Whats jokes
What is the difference between an American and a computer?
An American doesn’t have trouble shooting.
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
What are you going to have for a face when the baboon wants its butt back?
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What do angels serve at birthday parties in Heaven?
Angel food cake! 🎂🥳
A guy goes in to get some tests done. The doctor comes out and says, "I got good news and bad news." The guy says, "Ok, let's get the bad news out of the way." The doctor says, "The tests came back positive. You got two weeks to live." The guy says, "Oh My God!! Then what the hell is the good news?" Doctor says "You see that nurse over there, the one with the big tits? I'm screwin' her."
What's the chunkiest part of vegetable soup?
The wheelchair.
A man had 10 dead and bloody babies in the middle of his living room. The police suddenly knocked on his door. What is the hardest thing to hide?
- A boner.
So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?
I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"
Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?
But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!
Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.
So Jesus has been nailed to the cross.
On the first day, he starts to moan, "Peter, Peter!"
Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.
On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.
On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus and says, "Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important?"
Jesus- "Peter, I can see your house from here!"
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.
The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.
The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.
A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"
"Sure," said the little boy.
The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.
"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
What is the reason for why women never look to the right?
Because they don't have any rights.
What is Mr. Incredible's biggest fan now called? Down Syndrome :)
What do Asians and John Cena have in common? You can't see me!
What do orphans do after they win a game?
Nothing, they have no one to play games with.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple can trace back its family tree.
What could've the Towers done to not start 9/11?
Call 911.
What's the difference between family and cats...
Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.
What's the difference between a mole and an eagle?
They both live underground, except for the eagle.