Whats jokes
What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."
What's the difference between me and a rope?
The rope doesn't hang from itself.
This song is sus, because I’m happy. Clap along if you feel like happiness is the root. What are you clapping?
What do old people and meth heads have in common? They usually trip over their balls.
What did the female rapist say at her hearing?
"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"
What did they find in Jeffery Dahmer's apartment?
Jack in a box.
Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"
Kid: "A leopard."
Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."
Kid: "Broooooooooooo."
What do you call a dinosaur that loves sucking dino dick?
Sucks-alota-cocka-sorass.
What is an orphanage's favorite Roblox game?
"Adopt Me."
What movie do atheists watch for Christmas?
"Coincidence on 34th Street."
What's the worst thing about having a Congolese friend?
He always needs a hand.
What do you call a ghost bee?
Boobees.
A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.
Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."
Woman: "What's the bad news?"
Dr: "Your baby is Ginger!"
Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"
Dr: "It's dead!"
What time is it when you get home, can you walk home and walk?
What do you call a person who cares for chickens?
A chicken tender.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
Helen Keller is the kind of person to ask you what the time is.
What does a bouncy airplane sound like?
Boeing Boeing Boeing...
What makes a nuke and divorce the same?
It only takes one of each to end your life.
Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.