Whats jokes

What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?

They both kidnap Canadian women!

What do feminists and dogs share in common? They need to be taken to obedience school.

What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?

Special head.

I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.

...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.

I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"

Somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch!

What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?

Sexy kids.

I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.

Who names their dog Donuts?

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.

Bored?

Burn an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

One day a man dies and goes to heaven. He gets there and sees a bunch of clocks. He asks Jesus, "Hey, what are the clocks for?" Jesus replies, "They move every time you sin." "This is Mother Teresa's, it has not moved so she has not sinned." "This one is Abraham Lincoln's, it has moved twice so he sinned twice." The man asks, "Where is Joe Biden's?" Jesus replies, "It's in my office-- I'm using it as a ceiling fan."

A man died and went to heaven. Here he met Jesus. There were two clocks. The man asked, "What's with the clocks?" Jesus answered, "This is Mother Theresa's clock. She has not lied, so the clock hasn't moved. This is Abraham Lincoln's clock; he's only lied twice, so it's moved twice." "Where's Donald Trump's?" the man asked. Jesus replied: "It's in my office. I'm using it as a ceiling fan."

What's a rapist's favorite scale?

C Minor.

Once there were three girls taking a walk in the mountains. One was a brunette, one was a redhead, and the other was a dumb blonde. They came to a cliff and the brunette said, "If you jump off that cliff and say what you want to be you will become it." So the brunette jumped off and said "falcon" and became a falcon. The redhead jumped off and said "eagle" and became an eagle. The dumb blonde ran, was about to jump, but tripped on a rock, and said "crap."

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire.

What is the email password of a black person?

"watermelon"

What does LGBTQ+ mean? Is it the premium version of GAY?

"Hey, what's the Russian president's name?" "Putin?" "Yeah, Putin deez nuts in yo mouth!"

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

The baby cries when I cut it, but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.

So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.

I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.

What is the worst part of milking a cow?

The smell of the dairy air.