Whats jokes
What do old people and meth heads have in common? They usually trip over their balls.
What did the female rapist say at her hearing?
"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"
What did they find in Jeffery Dahmer's apartment?
Jack in a box.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?
I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
Memes
What's a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer.
What do you call it when you rickroll someone in the LGBTQ?
You just got fruit-rolled.
What does lmao mean?
Launch Missiles at orphanage.
What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.
What do Olympic sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing. They fast!
When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,
You respond: "cancer."
Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"
"Lizzie Borden took an axe. And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one."
What does a bouncy airplane sound like?
Boeing Boeing Boeing...
What makes a nuke and divorce the same?
It only takes one of each to end your life.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.
Helen Keller is the kind of person to ask you what the time is.
Titanic walks into a bar. Britannic: "What would you like to drink?" Titanic: "An iceberg."
What do the twin towers and genders have in common? They used to be two, but now they're a sensitive subject.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite song?
"Touch Me (I Want Your Body)."