Whats jokes

what do you call a cow that fell?

Ground beef.

What did the ocean say when it saw the beach?

Nothing, it just waved.

What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?

It's pasture your bedtime.

What do you call an Irish man that breaks up fights?

Liam Malone.

What is an orphan's favorite flower? Self-raising. 😂

What's your favorite place that orphans can't go to?

Home.

What do you call a zombie?

Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.

What did the policeman say to his belly button?

You're under a vest.

What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?

I don't know, she's still trying to open it...

What falls and never gets hurt? Snow.

What do you call an army of disabled people?

Special forces.

What do you call it when an Arab girl has an abortion?

Removing a bomb.

What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?

I guess orange is the new black.

I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.

...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.

I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"

Somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch!

What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?

Sexy kids.

I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.

Who names their dog Donuts?

Bored?

Burn an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

One day a man dies and goes to heaven. He gets there and sees a bunch of clocks. He asks Jesus, "Hey, what are the clocks for?" Jesus replies, "They move every time you sin." "This is Mother Teresa's, it has not moved so she has not sinned." "This one is Abraham Lincoln's, it has moved twice so he sinned twice." The man asks, "Where is Joe Biden's?" Jesus replies, "It's in my office-- I'm using it as a ceiling fan."

A man died and went to heaven. Here he met Jesus. There were two clocks. The man asked, "What's with the clocks?" Jesus answered, "This is Mother Theresa's clock. She has not lied, so the clock hasn't moved. This is Abraham Lincoln's clock; he's only lied twice, so it's moved twice." "Where's Donald Trump's?" the man asked. Jesus replied: "It's in my office. I'm using it as a ceiling fan."