Whats jokes
What do you call a cool octopus?
Tenta-cool (tentacle)
What do you call a rich Chinese person?!? Kaching!
What is another name for a serial rapist? Short dress enthusiast.
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.
In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, "No".
Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school."
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
She replies, "No."
Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
His mom says "No."
He asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?"
He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."
Memes
My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.
what did Bruce Willis say after he had a vasectomy? "snip-y ki yay motherfucker"
A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." "What do you expect?" he says, "You're in a fucking wheelchair!"
I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.
Guess what? It had no home button.
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.
What's the difference between a penis and the bible? Nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.
What do you call a cow without legs? Ground beef.
What do you call getting gonorrhea from a disabled person?
A slow clap.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
What’s an orphan’s favorite movie character?
Harry Potter.
What's the difference between the righteous and a sinner?
You decide.
Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"
Kid: "A leopard."
Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."
Kid: "Broooooooooooo."
What do you call a dinosaur that loves sucking dino dick?
Sucks-alota-cocka-sorass.