Whats jokes
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
Q: What's the difference between a fetus and an onion?
A: One makes you cry when you chop it into pieces.
What do orphans call a family pic?
A selfie.
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a white baby?
"Sum Ting Wong."
What do priests and doctors have in common?
They both do physicals on kids.
Memes
Doctor: I have bad news and really bad news.
Patient: What's the bad news?
Doctor: You have 24 hours to live.
Patient: What's the really bad news?
Doctor: I forgot to tell you yesterday.
What do Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
Both fly around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!
What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini.
What do you call a Chinese rich man? Cha-ching!
What zodiac sign has no hair?
Cancer.
There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.
Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"
What can you give a white person that you can't give to a black person?
A black eye.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What’s the hamburgler’s retarded cousin? Aspergler.
What do cows listen to on headphones?
moo-sic.
What's similar between a 14 year old pregnant girl and the fetus inside of her?
They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mom's going to kill me!"
What did one needle say to the other?
"You be looking sharp!"
What do you call a heterosexual man performing fellatio on another heterosexual man?
Bisexual.
What’s a bird’s favorite movie?
The Parrots of the Caribbean.
What is the difference between a book and a Mexican?
One has papers.