Whats jokes
What do you call a Black man having a seizure?
Chocolate shake.
Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning. Is she ok? Hospital?
Dad: She's ok now, no hospital.
Dad: She had to take the deep penis.
Son: Umm...... WHAT!?
Dad: I had to inject her with an EPIC PENIS.
Dad: Oh for god's sakes.
Dad: Epi Pen.
What do you call a gangster involved with anime? A Cuz-Player.
What is the Twilight series about?
A girl's choice between necrophilia and bestiality.
What goes up must come down, apart from Mr. Vyse.
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! 🚁
What do the initials CIA stand for?
Central Intelligence of A**holes.
What does one boob say to the other boob?
If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.
What does Santa say about my mom? HO HO HO!
Son, you are not precious, so pack your bags because someone else is going to adopt you.
Dad, what do you mean someone else will adopt me?
Son, you're adopted!
What do you call a fat Chinese guy?
A double chinkey.
What did the dinosaur say to the man?
It didn’t, they're dead.
What is the difference between a baby and a canoe?
I would never put a canoe in my garage.
What starts with M, ends with arriage, and is every guy's favorite thing? Miscarriage.
That one never gets old, just like the baby.
What's the name for a short legged tramp?
A low-down bum.
What are women allergic to and always try to dodge?
Accountability.
What did the ocean say when it saw the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
What's the food orphans can't eat?
Family-sized ice cream.
What sound does a nut make when it comes alive?
Christmas!
One time, there was a happy little girl. One day, her teacher asked how many legs and arms a pineapple have. She said,
"You know those pokey things on it? That's how many."
Teacher says, "That's dumb. They have zero." Then the next day, the girl set a fire in her house, and she burned her legs and arms. Then she survived and went to school. Then the teacher said, "I heard your house went on fire, and by the way, you know you don't have no arms or legs, right?" The girl said, "OK." Then the teacher asked the question the teacher asked yesterday again. She said, "What do you call a girl with no legs or arms?" The teacher said, "Answer my question!" The girl said, "OK, OK, the girl said 13." The teacher said, "Pineapples do not even have legs!"
Then the teacher had to calm down. Then the teacher said to the girl, "Ask a question. Whatever you want." Then the girl said, "Ok, and I'm sorry, teacher." Teacher said, "It's ok, I need a break." The girl said, "What do you call a girl without legs or arms?" Someone from the class, her name was Nia, she said, "A worm." She said, "NO!!!" The teacher said, "Calm down. Just tell us what!" The girl said, "OK then." The girl said it.......
And y'all who is reading my story, guess what the answer is before I tell you and by the way the girl's name is Sunny. Back to story.........she said the answer is A PINEAPPLE! Then when the teacher was calm, she told her to sit down. Then the teacher read a story, "The Three Little Pigs." Then the girl went home, she got a new house, then lived happily ever after.