Whats jokes
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
What do you do if you're ever attacked by a gang of clowns?
Go for the juggler!
What do you call a Mexican in the zombie apocalypse?
Answer: "Sweet and spicy chicken."
What’s one good thing about child molesters? They drive slow in a school zone.
Cindy goes up to her dad and says: "Daddy, can I have $100 for a new dress?"
Her dad almost gags and says: "$100! You're only 12, what do you want with such an expensive dress?"
Cindy says: "Well daddy, I'll look really pretty in it and I promise to look after it ..."
Dad gives in and says: "OK, give me a head-job then".
He flops it out and Cindy just get the end in her mouth and goes: "Eeee-yooo - that taste's like shit!"
Dad goes: "Well, your brother wanted to borrow the car this afternoon ..."
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
What’s the best part about having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
What do you call a guy from India calling you?
A scammer.
What do you call a black person with a pride flag? A Cosmic Brownie.
What do you call a lamp that molests young boys? A Jacko Lantern!
A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the color of 911?
Plane.
What is the fastest way to see 911?
Plane.
Q: What's the difference between a fetus and an onion?
A: One makes you cry when you chop it into pieces.
What do orphans call a family pic?
A selfie.
what song did people in Hiroshima listen to?
"Here Comes the Sun."
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
What do you call a vagina with teeth?
A vicious cunt.
What did the priest say to the skunk?
Let us spray.
What do chickens play in the pool? Marco Polo.
What do you call a letter using the bathroom?
The P.