Whats jokes
Cindy goes up to her dad and says: "Daddy, can I have $100 for a new dress?"
Her dad almost gags and says: "$100! You're only 12, what do you want with such an expensive dress?"
Cindy says: "Well daddy, I'll look really pretty in it and I promise to look after it ..."
Dad gives in and says: "OK, give me a head-job then".
He flops it out and Cindy just get the end in her mouth and goes: "Eeee-yooo - that taste's like shit!"
Dad goes: "Well, your brother wanted to borrow the car this afternoon ..."
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
What do priests and doctors have in common?
They both do physicals on kids.
A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the color of 911?
Plane.
What is the fastest way to see 911?
Plane.
What do Michael Jackson and Pinocchio have in common?
They both lie over little boys 😂
There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.
Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"
What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?
Spasticelastic.
What do you call an Indian with pink hair?
Ghandi floss.
What do you call a lamp that molests young boys? A Jacko Lantern!
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang a painting.
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
Q: What's the difference between a fetus and an onion?
A: One makes you cry when you chop it into pieces.
What do orphans call a family pic?
A selfie.
What did the priest say to the skunk?
Let us spray.
What do you call a vagina with teeth?
A vicious cunt.
What do a priest and a McDonalds have in common?
They both slide their meat in 10 year old buns.
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
What if your Corona test is neutral?
Why is it ok to smack an orphan?
What are they going to do? Tell their parents!
Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!
Mom: Exactly.