Whats jokes
What was the name of Russia's first female traffic cop?
Ivana Pulyova.
What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?
reCAPTCHA
What do chickens play in the pool? Marco Polo.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
Memes
What happend for them to put this sign up?
What do you call a letter using the bathroom?
The P.
What do you call a vagina with teeth?
A vicious cunt.
What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?
There is none, they both go up in flames.
What’s the best part about having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They're both turned on by kids.
One day, little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parents' bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." Little Johnny said, "Who is your partner?" Dad said, "Your mom." On his way up, he passed by his sister's room and noticed sheets bouncing around and asked what she’s doing. She said, "Playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul." The next day, Dad came to ask Johnny a question. The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw the sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." His dad asked him who his partner was. Little Johnny said, "You don’t need a partner if you have a good hand."
What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.
What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?
“Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?
A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.
What do you call a Mexican that smokes weed? A baked bean.
What's the best thing about fucking 21 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?
Its butt.
What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?
Putting in 12 and sucking out 13.
What’s the difference between an LGBTQ and brain cells?
Brain cells make up their mind.
Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?
Mother: He died.
Daughter: How did he die?
Mother: He never got recharged.