Whats jokes
What time is bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
What's red, green, and goes 90 miles an hour?
A frog in a blender.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture?
A family portrait.
Uranus, ur-anus, your anus. Anus is what's in between your two buttocks.
What do gay people get for Christmas?
Discrimination.
Q. What type of flour do orphans get?
A. Self-raising flour.
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.
What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
What's a mentally retarded person's favorite color? Clear.
Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.
What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?
A-Mean-O-Acid.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
What if soy milk is just regular milk trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?
Dam fools.
What is Saturn's favorite movie?
Lord of the Rings.
What do you call a person with Down syndrome in the military?
Special Forces.
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
What do you call someone in a wheelchair being pushed by a cannibal?
A to-go order.
You know what I hate about rape?
Keeping it a secret.