Whats jokes
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine! Lol.
What's the difference between an emo and my clothes?
My clothes don't hang themselves.
Uranus, ur-anus, your anus. Anus is what's in between your two buttocks.
What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture?
A family portrait.
I you know what i mean
What's a mentally retarded person's favorite color? Clear.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
What if soy milk is just regular milk trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?
Student: Apple!
Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?
Student:....Bitch...
What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?
Dam fools.
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.
Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.
What is Saturn's favorite movie?
Lord of the Rings.
Q. What type of flour do orphans get?
A. Self-raising flour.
What did the balls say to the dick?
Hey dick, how's it hanging?
What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?
A-Mean-O-Acid.
What did 50 do when he was hungry?
58.
What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.