Whats jokes
So, a daughter goes to her dad and says, "Daddy, can I borrow the car?" He then tells her, "You know what to do." So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust, and says, "Ugh, tastes like shit." Her dad then said, "Damn, I forgot your brother took the car."
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Wow, hairy!"
What do you call a gay threesome?
A Sloppy Joe.
A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out.
"Oh no, Tom's an idiot, what did he name my daughter?" she asked the nurse.
"Denise."
"That's not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?"
"Tom Junior."
What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mercedes?
I don’t have a Mercedes.
Memes
what have i found
What sort of file turns a one inch hole into a two inch hole?
A pedophile.
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.
What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.
What's the difference between an ISIS training center and a school?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
What's an alien's favorite computer key?
The space bar!
What do you call Stephen Hawking on Mars? Mars Rover.
what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.
What do you call a kid who's been kidnapped?
Well, her name's Sally, so I guess... Sally. My main concern is getting her out of the freezer.
What does the 'w' in Africa stand for? Water.
What's the difference between Clint Eastwood and anal sex?
One will make your day, and the other will make your hole weak.
What did the green light say to the red light? - Don't look, I'm changing!
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?
The “cold and passed out” kind.
What's better than sex with your 12 year old sister?
Rolling her over and pretending it's your 10 year old brother.
What do you call a Mexican that hung him self? a pinata