Whats jokes
What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you?
A pool table.
I was 11 or 12 at the time.
Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...
If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.
What’s the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
Teacher: Where's your homework?
Student: At home...
Teacher: What's it doing there?
Student: Having a better time than me.
What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?
Sum ting wong.
What did the ocean say to the pirate? Nothing, it just waved.
What is something feminists crave but will never get? Semen.
Q: What do Burger King and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: They put meat on five-year-old buns.
What do you call an emo committing suicide while filming it?
America's Funniest Home Videos.
What's the only good thing about being an orphan?
All snacks are family sized!
Alright, riddle me this: I am loud and obnoxious, I like music that rhymes. I'm a fraction of the population, but commit half the crimes! What am I?
What's the best part about a dead hooker? The second hour is free!
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
An apple gets picked.
You know what an emo gets for his birthday? A rope.
What do apples and depressed kids have in common?
They both hang on trees.
What do you call a vegan slut?
A garden ho!
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
My sister asked me what is dark humor. I asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? "Kinder Surprise!"
What do you call a cow that's beating his meat? Beef stroganoff!
What sort of file turns a one inch hole into a two inch hole?
A pedophile.