Whats jokes
Q: What do you call it when four Mexicans drown in quicksand?
A: Cuatro Cinco.
So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"
What is the most common crime in China?
Identity fraud.
What do you call a Chinese millionaire?
Cha ching.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
Memes
What do you do when a person with epilepsy gets seizures in the bathtub? Throw in some laundry.
Billy: *spits out food*
Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.
Dad: *looks at mom*
Mom: Shut up.
If you get it, you get it.
What did the fat man say as he entered Nagasaki?
Nothing, he just exploded.
What do food and dark humor have in common? Some people don’t get it.
What did the orphan say to his parents? Nothing, cause they left him.
What's Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom? -- How I bought your mother.
What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
Q: What do orphans call a family reunion?
A: Me time.
What's funny about sex? I don't get it!
Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.
What does a roller coaster and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids ride for free.
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?
what's black and red and is a liquid?
my scars!
A guy was on trial for murder, and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done, and paid him the $10,000.
The redneck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and wanted to let him go.