Whats jokes

Q: What will we give to a sick lemon?

A: Lemon aid.

What do you call a spice with a PHD?

Dr. Pepper

What is a cup called when they show a ton of emotions?

Answer: Expresso! (KILL MEH)

What’s worse than George Bush doing 9/11? Jeffrey Epstein doing nine Elevens.

What's a joke that an orphan has never heard before?

A dad joke.

What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?

A whore sleeps with everyone at the party. A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party—except you.

what did Bruce Willis say after he had a vasectomy? "snip-y ki yay motherfucker"

What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?

E.T. eventually went home!

I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.

I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breathe through something so small?"

What’s the difference between white people and Black people?

One runs from the police, one runs for the police.

What happens if a cookie turns emo?

It becomes a cookie cutter.

What do you call a group of black people in a shed?

Antique farm equipment.

What’s a 9/11 victim’s least favorite song?

Drowning Pool - Bodies.

What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?

It's legal to get stoned.

What's the difference between a baby and garlic bread? I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.

A gay guy and a trucker get in a car crash.

The gay guy says, "Somebody call the police! This man just rammed into me!"

The trucker says, "What the fuck did you just say, fucker? Get over here, I'm gonna wreck your ass!"

The gay man then says, "It's okay, everybody, don't call the police! He wants to negotiate."

So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co-pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot.

Then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"

Michael Jackson was on a boat with a bunch of children. The boat captain comes up to him and says, "Michael, we've come into some trouble and the boat is about to sink. We need to get off the boat right now." "But what about the children?" The captain said, "F*** them." Michael Jackson responded, "Is there enough time?"

Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.

She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."