Whats jokes

I was 11 or 12 at the time.

Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...

If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.

Teacher: Where's your homework?

Student: At home...

Teacher: What's it doing there?

Student: Having a better time than me.

What did the Queen Bee say to the other bees? "Beehive yourselves!"

What is 80 feet wide and has 22 teeth?

Answer: The front row of a Trump Rally!

What did a terrorist say when New York didn't want his food?

"Here Comes The Airplane!"

What did the ocean say to the pirate? Nothing, it just waved.

What do apples and depressed kids have in common?

They both hang on trees.

What is red and goes 200 miles per hour?

A baby in a blender.

What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?

A family photo.

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

An apple gets picked.

What do you call an emo committing suicide while filming it?

America's Funniest Home Videos.

What's the only good thing about being an orphan?

All snacks are family sized!

What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?

"I am your father."

Q: What do Burger King and Michael Jackson have in common?

A: They put meat on five-year-old buns.

What's the best part about a dead hooker? The second hour is free!

You know what an emo gets for his birthday? A rope.

My sister asked me what is dark humor. I asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? "Kinder Surprise!"

What do you call a cow that's beating his meat? Beef stroganoff!

What’s the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression fucks you harder.

What sort of file turns a one inch hole into a two inch hole?

A pedophile.