What's happening jokes
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
God made me pretty, what happened to you?
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
Q. What happens when a pedophile spills his coffee? A. It leaves an EP-stain.
Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"
The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.
Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."
What happens to an Indian's doorbell when you ring it?
A ring-a-ding-a-ding.
What happened to the chicken when he crossed the road? He didn't. He got run over by a truck.
A manager asked a black employee to work overtime. The employee initially agreed until he was told it would be without pay.
The employee responded with, "You know what happened last time my family worked for free?"
"What happened?" said the manager.
"A civil war."
can someone please tell what happened?
Beauty is blind? Ya damn right, 'cause that's what happened when she saw your ass.
What happens when you eat a cat?
I love to eat cats for dinner!
What happened to the gator when he walked into the hospital?
He became Gatorade.
What happened to Stephen Hawking after he reached Heaven?
Nothing yet. He is still struggling to get up the stairway to Heaven.
Susie: Ling Ling, truth or dare?
Ling Ling: Truth.
Susie: What happened to Stacie's dog?
Ling Ling: Dare.
Q: Two skeletons walk into a bar. What happens?
A: They fall.
(They walked into a BAR, as in a rod or whatnot.)
What happens when a pun isn’t funny?
It gets PUNished.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?
He became a shell of who he once was.
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
He gets toad.
When Peter Pan jumped off the Twin Towers, what happened? He Neverland.
What happened when the emo kid gave the tree a high five? It left him hanging.