Weight jokes

Yo mama so fat that she broke your computer!

lol

Yo mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."

Yo mama so fat she sat on an iPhone and turned it into an iPad.

What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato?

140 calories.

A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."

Yo mama so fat, she curves space and time.

Kim Jong-Un thicc af.

Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"

Yo mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and popped a booger out of George Washington's nose.

Yo mama so fat, NASA used her stomach to jump to Uranus in seconds.

You're so fat that you have to live on Pluto so you don't destroy any of the planets.

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.

Yo mama so fat, I stood next to her and lost cell phone reception.

Yo momma is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number."

Why are cheetahs the best animals?

The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour.

A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds.

Cheetahs are extremely fast; however, they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue.

Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms.

One way to always recognize a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines,” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances.

Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs.

While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day.

A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away.

Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision.

With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight.

Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.

What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you?

A pool table.

I would roast you, but you don't have any meat!

I know five fat people, and you're three of them.

Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.

Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.