Weight jokes

My friend called me fat, so I challenged him to a running race.

Yo mama so fat that when she attempted suicide, she bounced to Area 51.

How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.

So fat you're a scale said, "Fat ass."

Yo mama so fat Thanos had to clap.

I'm looking for women. Put your height, weight, and bra size in the comments.

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

"Rapeboat" so fat it made yo momma look thin.

Yo mama so fat, survivors of the Titanic said a fat girl on the bow was so heavy, the ship started to sink, but when she reached the stern, the ship split.

Yo mama so fat that the weighing scale said, "To be continued..."

Your mama so chubby, people call her fat.

Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.

How much does a hipster weigh? An Instagram.

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.

You're so ugly and fat, and you're so lazy you can't even get your ass up and walk.

Joe Mama is so fat that when she sat on an iPhone, it turned into an iPod.

Yo mamma so fat, when she tried to sit down the chair ran away.

Yo mama's so fat, Thanos had to clap.

Biggest chungus to the rescue, fat bitches!

Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.