Weight jokes

What is Lizzo?

Big, fat, and ugly.

You are so skinny, you probably wipe your butt with floss.

What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?

Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.

Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."

Your mama's so fat, she needed NASA to make her ID card!

Q. What movie is a fat person most afraid of?

A. The Hunger Games.

I keep hearing "Obesity kills."

My only question is "Why is it taking so long?"

Your mama is so fat, the photo I took of her last Christmas is still printing.

When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'

Yo mama is so fat that even CaseOh couldn't bang her.

Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.

Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.

It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.

Obese is the N-word for fat people.

Fat kids are so fat, they have their own gravitational pull.

Yo mama is so fat, she falls off both sides of the bed.

Explain Bear weighs 1 ton.

When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.

When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.

If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?

Yo mama so fat, she ate McDonald's!