Weight jokes

Fat teachers be like: "I hope you're paying a ten chin."

You're so fat that when you stepped on a scale, it said, "To be continued..."

Yo mama so fat, she called Dr. Seuss and he couldn’t even rhyme back.

Your mom is so fat Santa Claus came down and said, "Ho ho holy shit!"

Yo mama's so fat, she thinks the buffet is the starter plate.

Your momma's so fat, she farted in bed and blew the covers off.

Yo mama so fat that every time she takes a swim, the Arctic sinks by a mile!

Yo momma so fat, she farts out volcanoes.

Yo mama so fat, she can’t even fit on the rainbow.

One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"

Yo mama so fat, when she takes an elevator, it ALWAYS goes down!

I went on a ballooning holiday recently. I put on four stone.

Your momma so fat, when she asked for a water bed, she got a concrete bed.

Aliana is so fat, she can't fit through a hula hoop.

Your momma's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the ocean.

Yo mama so fat that John Cena couldn’t get her down with an Attitude Adjustment!

When you went to McDonald's and sat down, you were so fat, they said, "TBC."

I like my women thick, so if they aren't over 375 pounds, they're not stepping into my room.

Q: What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?

A: A pool table.

Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of CRACK.