Weight jokes

You're so skinny, if someone farts in your direction, you will fly away.

Your mama's so fat, I don’t know if it is a hippo or not.

Fat people: Do I look beautiful when I eat a pack of chicken?

Me: Yes, you look like a bunch of boulders crashing into each other.

Fat: Dang...

Me: Shut up, Jon Brower Minnoch.

Yo mama is so fat that people had to take pictures of her from space.

You're so fat, when someone calls you fat, you get depressed and cut you a slice of cake.

Your mom is FAAAAAAAAAT as FUCK.

Yo mama so fat, everytime she has to use the world's largest knife.

My dad said I need to eat more. I don't know why, but his fat ass needs to stop eating.

Yo mama is so fat, she got locked in a weapon store, and she broke it down without any weapons.

I'm looking for women. Put your height, weight, and bra size in the comments.

Yo mama so fat that when she looks into a mirror, it always shatters, because her weight could be felt all around.

Yo mama so fat, Trump used her like a wall.

I'm a fat cow.

Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.

Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was pegged.

Your mum so fat she's diabetic... LOL

Your mom is so fat that she broke your crush!

Yo mama so fat, she said the N-word!

Yo mama so fat, she ate McDonald's!

Your mom is so fat, she can't make it through the door.

I live inside my own world of make-believe. Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities. I see the world through eyes covered in ink and bleach. Cross out the ones who heard my cries and watched me weep. I love everything. Fire's spreading all around my room. My world's so bright. It's hard to breathe, but that's alright. Hush, shh.

Tape my eyes open to force reality (oh no, no). Why can't you just let me eat my weight in glee? I live inside my own world of make-believe. Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities. Some days I feel skinnier than all the other days, And some days I can't tell if my body belongs to me. I love everything. Fire's spreading all around my room. My world's so bright. It's hard to breathe, but that's alright. Hush, shh.

I wanna taste your content. Hold your breath and feel the tension. Devils hide behind redemption. Honesty is a one-way gate to hell. I wanna taste consumption. Breathe faster to waste oxygen. Hear the children sing aloud. It's music 'til the wick burns out. Hush.

Just wanna be carefree lately, yeah. Just kicking up daisies. Got one too many quarters in my pockets. Count 'em like the four-leaf clovers in my locket. Untied laces, yeah. Just tripping on daydreams. Got dirty little lullabies playing on repeat. Might as well just rot around the nursery and count sheep.