Weather jokes
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"
After all the mudslides in the area, the streets became a mudder out there.
Why do we name hurricanes?
To keep an eye on them.
Why is the sun mad at the clouds?
The clouds keep throwing shade.
Teacher: Why did the skeleton know the weather outside?
Student: 'Cause he could feel it in his bones.
Teacher: No, he read the weather report, you fucking idiot.
I went outside to catch some dog, but I mist.
I tried to catch fog, but sadly, I missed.
Wow, that is so sunny!
Why is the sun red today?
The sun turned red today. Here's why. As an enormous Atlantic storm batters Ireland, a related phenomenon is turning heads further east over in the United Kingdom. ... Just like the way sunsets are sometimes red, excess particles in the atmosphere can change the color of the sun in the daytime.
Why doesn't bread like warm weather?
It gets toasty!
I was at the store during a storm one time. I guess you could say it was story.
Why don’t mountains catch colds?
They wear snow caps.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
Yo mama's so short, when it rains, she's the last to know!
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
Snow balls.
I set fiya to the rain! Wait, no, that ain't possible, what... I evaporated the rain!
How does a butcher keep his tent up in the wind? Steaks.
Yo mama is so ugly, when there was a tornado, the tornado refused to suck her up.
What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Thunderwear.
What do you get when you cross a cold wind with a feather?
A brrrrrrrr-d!