Weapon jokes
I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.
What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?
A baby with a javelin in its head!
Why couldn't an orphan use a fighter jet?
Because he couldn't use the homing missiles.
When you steal the weird pet rock, so he pulls out his pet Glock.
Where did Josh go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.
My latest DIY weapon:
What did Pepper say to Spray?
"Hey Spray, I'm Pepper, and I think we should fight crime!"
I never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me.
What is white, black, and red and can't fit through a revolving door?
A nun with a spear through her head!
Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!
Girlfriends are just like AK47s; they always go off on you.
Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
A man tried to attack me with milk and cheese—how dairy!
What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exercise. They got up into the air and Jim said, "Okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "What?" as he looked over at Jim.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Glock, glock.
Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel.
The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning.
The guys show up and the guards shoot them.
The guys die because the guards used real guns.
Officer: "Stay back soldiers, minefield!"
Soldier: "Let's clear the field!"
Officer: "Ok!"
*silence*
*explosion*
What do you call autistic people with guns? Special forces.
What did the Deagle say to the G17?
"Son, you're rushing, but in some way, I like it."
What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.