George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.
Spongebob: Easy now, you try first. Get a jar.
Patrick: *picks up nuke*
Spongebob: Patrick, that's a nuke!
Patrick: Yes.
Nuke: *boom*
Officer: "Stay back soldiers, minefield!"
Soldier: "Let's clear the field!"
Officer: "Ok!"
*silence*
*explosion*
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.
Are you a bullet?
*gets shot*
A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.
One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."
Russia went from N-95 to M-16 real quick...
If you thought other people’s puns are bad, well, you should sea mine.
Why does the army take orphans as fighter jet pilots?
Because homing missiles don’t work on them.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair with a gun? RG-XD
What do you do when a French kid steals your pencil?
Load your MP-40 and tell him that you give him a history lesson on WWII.
What does a sad cowboy and a supernatural fan have in common?
Both want to put a Winchester in their mouth.
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Give him a gun, he'll just shoot himself.
I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.
Why couldn't an orphan use a fighter jet?
Because he couldn't use the homing missiles.
What did Pepper say to Spray?
"Hey Spray, I'm Pepper, and I think we should fight crime!"
Why does Adam buy airsoft guns, you might ask?
To defend himself against his own father... his life must be shit.
What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.
A man tried to attack me with milk and cheese—how dairy!
When I was younger, I thought that it was cool to use knives because kids used to ask me to use them.
By the way, have you seen my sister?
