Water jokes
What did Sally say when she was stuck in the water with kelp?
"I need kelp! KELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP"
What did the priest say during the christening?
"So anyway, I started blasting!"
Me: I have depression.
Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!
Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.
What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?
You would be dam unlucky.
Why did the guy get the hose?
Because the girl was smoking hot.
What's written on the bottom of a Belgian swimming pool?
"No smoking."
The water in the shower evaporates before it reaches you.
Your mama is so fat that when she jumped, they found water on Mars.
(Bob holds Deric's neck)
Deric: "Water, what are you doing?"
Jack and Rose went on a cruise to do it in the water.
Jack seldom wore a condom, and now they have a daughter.
So Jessie Waters goes on TV without a gallon of hair gel. Oh wait, never mind!
Your mama's so fat, when she jumps in the pool, the water jumps out!
How do you make holy water?
You take it to church ⛪️
Having survived a severe injury in my past, I'm kind of glad paramedics didn't succeed in bringing the United Healthcare CEO back.
I was suffering so bad I got delirious and thought that the nurses were putting poison in my water cup.
That CEO was so hated that one of the nurses probably WOULD have slipped him something!
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.
When Sara gets naked in the shower, she turns her taps on :)
What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.
How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.
I went for a swim in the river that crosses Mexico, and I saw a Mexican, aka a wetback, swimming across. I asked, and he said, "I'm a wetback."
What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?
An H2hoe.
How do rappers communicate underwater?
They drop some sick flow-tation.