Water jokes
Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad.
The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.
"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."
"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."
The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.
"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here."
Why are fish not sleeping? 'Cause the bed is wet.
Why do orphans only drink water in cereal?
'Cause Dad never brought home the milk...
So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!
What did the two oceans say to each other?
Nothing. They just waved.
Why doesn't Adele swim properly?
Because she's rolling in the deep. 🤽♂️
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
Why do hackers in Africa have hard times dealing with firewalls?
They don't have water.
Why don't you shower with a Pokemon? He might Pikachú.
I was going to an expensive dinner with my friend's girlfriend because she really wanted to go, but he just got out of surgery, and he said take care of her, so I said, "Will do, bro. I’ll bring her back fuller than a topped-up water bottle."
What happened to the cheetah that took too many baths?
The cheetah became spotless!
What's the most illegal activity in Africa?
Watering the plants.
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.
The priest wanted the little boy to touch his cross. The boy said, "It's hard." Then it shot out holy water, and the priest said, "Come again and taste the second cumming of Jesus, lmao."
Why did they call it "Aqua Claudia"?
Because it carried water, and another word for water is aqua. Duh!
I was looking forward to some toast...
So I took the toaster in the bath with me.
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.
Once there was a boat. Its friends said,
"It's time to come back." And the boat said,
"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."