Water jokes
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
You went to the bed store asking for a water bed. They put a pillow and sheets on the ocean.
How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.
What did the pond brother say to his lake sister?
"Oasis!" (Oh, hey sis!)
What happens when a sink on the Titanic overflows?
It sinks it.
We almost drowned when we went out boating, but I got a watermelon to keep me floating.
A lawyer bought a beautiful yacht. He invited the law firm to come aboard for a great weekend.
Saturday night was the candle light dinner and Sam drank too much, walked on the deck and fell over the rail into the water and was calling for help. Tom said, "Oh no, the sharks will get him." All of the party lined along the rail and noticed the sharks were swimming around him in a circle. Jim said, "The sharks are not even bothering him!" And a shark lifted up his head out of the water and said, "Professional Courtesy."
Once there was a boat. Its friends said,
"It's time to come back." And the boat said,
"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."
What do you call James Bond in a bathtub?
Bubble 007.
How do you get a million fowl?
You run through Africa with a bullet of water.
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
If you are dehydrated, you should get well soon.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because the dad never came back with the milk.
What did the mouse say after its bath?
"I feel squeaky clean!"
Why was Wet scared of Water? Because he was the water.
"Dream, yo mama so ugly, when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out!"
How does water say hi?
It waves.
[God creating a jellyfish]
God: How about an evil bag?
How do you clean the ocean?
With tide!
How to get rid of non-vaccinators: call water a "dehydration vaccine."