Water jokes
Next time I'm at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I'm going to say "bleach".
Are you electricity? 'Cause I wanna get a bath with you ;)
The Arabian Sea is in which state?
Liquid.
The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"
"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."
"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"
"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."
"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"
"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."
"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"
Memes
Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay?
Because then they would be called bagels! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
gay fish.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈
Orphans always dip their Oreos in water, hoping their dad comes back with the milk.
What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people.
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank!
Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad?
To drown herself.
A wild Iceberg appears. Go Titanic! Titanic uses Headbutt. The attack misses. Titanic faints.
What kind of fish comes out at night?
A starfish.
Jesus and Moses come back to Earth.
Moses says, "Let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before." So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before.
Jesus quips, "Close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last." So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him. Moses says, "Hey, it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before."
How do fish get to school?
By the octobus.
What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa?
A water gun.
What does a killer say in the shower in the morning?
- Splish splash, I'm gonna slash...