Water jokes
What did the diver say when he was trapped in seaweed?
- Kelp!
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?
Why can't you starve in the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there.
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
Chuck Norris orders his coffee black, without water.
The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"
What goes in dry and comes out wet?
A dick.
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
What do you call James Bond when he’s taking a bath?
Bubble 07.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come back with the milk.
Girl, is your butt made of water, because it is tubig?
What did the fish say when seeing his best mate?
"I sea him!"
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What type of gun isn’t allowed in Africa?
A water gun.
If you are dehydrated, you should get well soon.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.