Water jokes
So I left my mom with my baby, and I was terrified when I came back; the wheelchair was in the water.
What comes up on small oceans? Microwaves.
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!
What did the diver say when he was trapped in seaweed?
- Kelp!
Blood may be thicker than water, but yo mama is thicker than anything!
What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
Why can't you starve in the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there.
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
Chuck Norris orders his coffee black, without water.
The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"
What goes in dry and comes out wet?
A dick.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.
What do you call James Bond when he’s taking a bath?
Bubble 07.
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come back with the milk.
Girl, is your butt made of water, because it is tubig?
What did the fish say when seeing his best mate?
"I sea him!"