Water jokes
Blood may be thicker than water, but yo mama is thicker than anything!
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...
Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.
Last night I had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn't reel!
What do you call a fish without eyes?
A fsh.
For every blonde in the world,
scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
So I left my mom with my baby, and I was terrified when I came back; the wheelchair was in the water.
If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?
What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?
You can't wash your face in a buffalo.
What comes up on small oceans? Microwaves.
Why can't you starve in the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there.
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
Chuck Norris orders his coffee black, without water.
The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"
What goes in dry and comes out wet?
A dick.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
If you are dehydrated, you should get well soon.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.