Water jokes
If you are dehydrated, you should get well soon.
What do you call Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.
What is the coolest bath bomb for emos?
A toaster.
Having survived a severe injury in my past, I'm kind of glad paramedics didn't succeed in bringing the United Healthcare CEO back.
I was suffering so bad I got delirious and thought that the nurses were putting poison in my water cup.
That CEO was so hated that one of the nurses probably WOULD have slipped him something!
Went swimming today and peed in the deep end. The lifeguard saw me and blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.
If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
Your mama is so fat that when she jumped, they found water on Mars.
True story: In 1986, in the midst of the HIV epidemic, they made condoms available to the public. At that time, me and my boyfriend were 13 years old. My boyfriend was so happy: "These will make great water balloons!" And I was even happier. I did not have to pack a lunch for school tomorrow, lol.
Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery.
Stan JoJo Siwa.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
Because the pond was too shallow.
What the hell dam, hell dam?
What is yellow and can’t swim? A school, but full of drowning kids! 🤣🤣🤣
How to make holy water:
1. Grab a pot.
2. Put water in it.
3. Set the stove to 420 degrees.
4. Boil the hell out of it.
Hot water look a**.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other TIDE!!! 🤣🐙🐙
What's a kind of cat that lives in the water? Octopus.