Water jokes
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other TIDE!!! 🤣🐙🐙
How to make holy water:
1. Grab a pot.
2. Put water in it.
3. Set the stove to 420 degrees.
4. Boil the hell out of it.
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.
What did the beaver say when it hit the wall?
Dam!
What did the beach say when the tide came in?
"Long time no sea."
Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.
They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”
Why was the sand wet? Because the sea weed!
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
What kind of hair do oceans have? Wavy.
What mountain cries the most?
A mountain under water.
Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery.
What do you call the midget sea?
A pond.
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little boy says, "That's my little red race car." 10 minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little girl says, "That's my little red race car garage."
So later that night the boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She says yes, and they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won't fit. Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs upstairs, flips on the lights, and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?" The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
You went to the bed store asking for a water bed. They put a pillow and sheets on the ocean.
What kind of fish comes out at night?
A starfish.
How do you clean the ocean?
With tide!
Are you a waterfall?
'Cause I'm falling for you.
I am really hot, but I hate water. What am I?