Water jokes
What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?
You can't wash your face in a buffalo.
If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
What do you call a fish without eyes?
A fsh.
You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...
Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.
So I left my mom with my baby, and I was terrified when I came back; the wheelchair was in the water.
For every blonde in the world,
scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
What comes up on small oceans? Microwaves.
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
Why can't you starve in the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there.
Chuck Norris orders his coffee black, without water.
The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"
What goes in dry and comes out wet?
A dick.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
If you are dehydrated, you should get well soon.
What do you call James Bond when he’s taking a bath?
Bubble 07.
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come back with the milk.
Girl, is your butt made of water, because it is tubig?