Water Jokes

jack and rose went on a cruise to do it in the water. jack seldom wore a condom, and now they have a daughter.

This morning I woke up then took a bath with some chocolate mud at first when i turn the damn flossers on. i notice it wasn't water it's was all chocolate mud and now my body is all chocolatly.

I met a fat chick at the beach. People started asking me what I use for bait. Or do you want us to help throw the Whale back in the water?

How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know they keep slipping down the drain.

What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bath tub? -Throw in some laundry...

What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan? Nothing no one cares how much Lead is in the kids

My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.

Roses are red, violets are blue; blood’s thicker than water, so yeah, I got you.

What happens to teeth when they go it water

bro I dunno they get wet?

Kid: What is an orphans favorite breakfast? Teacher: What? Kid: Fruity pebble with water Teacher: Why water? Kid: Cause it's dad never came back with the milk

I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

An optimist says, "the glass is half full." A pessimist says, "the glass if half empty." A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air." Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water."

So a man goes to church is dipped in water 3 times by a Priest as he says, " From now on your name is Michael and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol. " . Soon after the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips it in the water 3 times while saying, " From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol. " .

John pretended to be a doctor. Motu came to him. He said "I lost my hunger". John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said "Your hunger is back!" Then,Motu said "I lost my taste." John said "Number 1,bring some water." Motu drank it and said "This is petrol!" John said "Your taste is back!" Motu said "I lost my memory." John said "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said "But Number 1 brought water." John said "Your memory is back!"