Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.
Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school* Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"
i went to see my dentist and she warned me it was going to hurt. then she told me she was having an affair with my husband. good news though...the cleaning didnt hurt.
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dads corpse holding a jug of milk.
My bumper sticker says:👋FORMER BABY ON BOARD
if the UK is 6 hours ahead of us why didnt they just warn us about 9/11
Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that." The student looked up and replied, "Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned, Mrs. Matthews."
The fact that am high won't stop me from advising u😳😳 Don't plug ur phone while charging it is very dengeros 🤣🛌
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The colour orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'seperate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, its a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
Today Me and My Best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge and i told him to back up, R.I.P to him.
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave? Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jacksdon will get you.
this is not a joke but if your uncle tells you, "{ bend over, touch your toes, i'll show you were the monster goes." don't do it hehhehehehehe.
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT..
What's the difference between a white woman and a tornado siren?
The tornado siren doesn't get raped.
So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.
My dad starts laughing at me.
Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”
Me: “Why dad?”
Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”
The sun is out and the peado vans are out. Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again.
Are you a fire alarm because your loud and annoying
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold lake Campground and he jumped into it, without any warning, and so I asked him Wat-er you doing
WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!
Was it the pills that stopped his coughing or was it the coffin they carried him of in?
