Warning jokes
DO Not Touch - the worst thing you can read in Braille.
I went to see my dentist, and she warned me it was going to hurt. Then, she told me she was having an affair with my husband. Good news though...the cleaning didn't hurt.
Commander: "Fire a warning shot."
Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher."
Commander: "Potato, potato, just fire."
Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school*
Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"
If the UK is 6 hours ahead of us, why didn't they just warn us about 9/11?
I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"
What's the difference between a white woman and a tornado siren?
The tornado siren doesn't get raped.
If you don't stop with the puns, soon it won't be so fun.
Everyone, just as a warning, stay AWAY from Akeld!
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.
"Warning, all unsaved progress will be lost." - Sun Tzu, The Art Of War.
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
Ol' Mate Shane Warne has sadly passed away. He was probably Australia's Greatest Ever Cricketer. RIP Ol' Mate Warney, died doing what you loved, having gay sex with men and doing cocaine! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Like if you RIP Shane Warne 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺
If you spin a fidget spinner, You'll end up spinning it too fast. When you end up spinning it too fast, it will make you fly away. When you fly away, you'll end up in a tree. When you end up in a tree, you'll see that your friends are hanging out without you. When you see that your friends are hanging out without you, you'll run away in the woods because you're sad. When you ran away in the woods, you'll see a bear. When you see a bear, it will chase you. When the bear chases you, you'll build a fort to protect yourself. When you build a fort to protect yourself, you then notice you're lonely. You'll become friends with the bear. When you become friends with a bear, you'll start to act like a bear. When you start to act like a bear, you will become a bear.
DO NOT BECOME A BEAR! NEVER PLAY WITH A FIDGET SPINNER!
If you're a cat person, never let hungry Chinese into your house. They might just have a snack.
To All The Naruto Fans:
Sharingan is red, Rasengans are blue, If you dare touch my daughter, I'll Chidori you!
A friend warned me that if I voted for Goldwater in 1964, we'd end up bombing North Viet Nam.
Well, I voted for him anyway, and sure enough, we ended up bombing North Viet Nam.
How do you get 500 drunk TTC people out? "Ah, on fire, a warning shot." "Uhhh sir, it's a M92 mortar." "Ah, just fire the shot!" Please get out before you get triggered from the pool and you have no clothes showing your nono parts. Oh wait, please get out of the pool drunk people. Potato, potatoes, fire ze shot.
I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"
So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.
My dad starts laughing at me.
Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”
Me: “Why dad?”
Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”
Fall