Warning

Warning Jokes

A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off."

Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.

However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.

She walked up to the bartender and asked, "May I please use the restroom?"

The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."

"Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun.

So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.

After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause!

She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"

"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?"

"No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.

"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out."

Now, how about that drink?

Commander: "Fire a warning shot."

Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher."

Commander: "Potato, potato, just fire."

Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school*

Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"

I went to see my dentist, and she warned me it was going to hurt. Then, she told me she was having an affair with my husband. Good news though...the cleaning didn't hurt.

*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....

What came first? The chicken or the egg?

Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?

Who taught the first ever teacher?

If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?

If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?

In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?

Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?

How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?

The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?

Is it possible to cry underwater?

If two left handers have an argument, who is right?

I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O

When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you donโ€™t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...

Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.

This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.

The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.

Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!

So Iโ€™m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.

My dad starts laughing at me.

Dad: โ€œSon! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?โ€

Me: โ€œWhy dad?โ€

Dad: โ€œBecause it ainโ€™t got no pop!โ€