Warning Jokes

crappy joke warning how does spongbob have fun he smokes seaweed

WARNING OFFENSIVE: What is the difference between a redhead and a brick... a brick gets laid

Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.

Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school* Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"

How do you get out 500 drunk TTC people? "Ah Antson fire a warning shot." " Uhhh sir its a M92 mortar." " Ah just fire the shot." Please get out before you get triggered from the pool and you have no clothes showing your nono parts. Oh wait please get out of the pool drunk people. Potato potatoes fire ze shot.

i went to see my dentist and she warned me it was going to hurt. then she told me she was having an affair with my husband. good news though...the cleaning didnt hurt.

A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off." Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.

She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom? The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf." "Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.

After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. ! She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"

"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?" "No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.

"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.

Now, how about that drink?"

If you spin a fidget spinner You'll end up spinning it too fast when you end up spinning it too fast It will make you fly away when you fly away you'll end up in a tree when you end up in a tree You'll see that your friends are hanging out without you When you see that your friends are hanging out without you You'll run away in the woods because your sad When you ran away in the woods you'll see a bear when you see a bear it will chase you when the bear chases you you'll build a fort to protect yourself when you build a fort to protect yourself You than notice your lonely You'll become friends with the bear When you become friends with a bear, you'll start to act like a bear when you start to act like a bear You will become a bear DO NOT BECOME A BEAR NEVER PLAY WITH A FIDGET SPINNER

Once there were twins, Mark and Michael, Mark was the owner of a old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible. "Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted. 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.

My dad starts laughing at me.

Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”

Me: “Why dad?”

Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”

So my friend and I went camping at a Cold lake Campground and he jumped into it, without any warning, and so I asked him Wat-er you doing

So Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says "teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But beforeclass ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the studentsclear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well come with me out to my dads car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"

Warning, All unsaved progress will be lost." - Sun Tzu, The Art of war

White people can't say the N word but at least they can say "Thanks for the warning officer" and "Hi dad"

I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website, when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised. Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.