Warning Jokes

Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...

Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.

Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in a mirror, it says, "Viewer discretion advised!"

What's the difference between a white woman and a tornado siren?

The tornado siren doesn't get raped.

Are you a fire alarm because you're loud and annoying?

Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.

Sniffs kids

The image shows a toy action figure box with the text SLEEPY JOE ACTION FIGURE written on it. Inside the box, there is a depiction of Joe Biden with his head slumped forward. Below it, the text reads BATTERIES *NOT* INCLUDED and a warning that the item contains socialism. Below that in a separate text box, is the text JUST ADD AAA BATTERIES AND HE SHITS HIS PANTS. In the upper right corner it reads NEW FOR CHRISTMAS: THE SLEEP JOE INACTION FIGURE. There is a red and white target circle with a blue dart to the right of the figure box.

This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Look at me again,

It will be the end of you.

Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.

Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.

Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.

Never search up "monkey with blue balls."

If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"

"Warning, all unsaved progress will be lost." - Sun Tzu, The Art Of War.

White people can't say the N-word, but at least they can say, "Thanks for the warning, officer," and "Hi, Dad."

Yo mama so ugly, she has a sign in her garden saying, “Beware of the dog!”

If you spin a fidget spinner, You'll end up spinning it too fast. When you end up spinning it too fast, it will make you fly away. When you fly away, you'll end up in a tree. When you end up in a tree, you'll see that your friends are hanging out without you. When you see that your friends are hanging out without you, you'll run away in the woods because you're sad. When you ran away in the woods, you'll see a bear. When you see a bear, it will chase you. When the bear chases you, you'll build a fort to protect yourself. When you build a fort to protect yourself, you then notice you're lonely. You'll become friends with the bear. When you become friends with a bear, you'll start to act like a bear. When you start to act like a bear, you will become a bear.

DO NOT BECOME A BEAR! NEVER PLAY WITH A FIDGET SPINNER!

I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!

How do you get 500 drunk TTC people out? "Ah, on fire, a warning shot." "Uhhh sir, it's a M92 mortar." "Ah, just fire the shot!" Please get out before you get triggered from the pool and you have no clothes showing your nono parts. Oh wait, please get out of the pool drunk people. Potato, potatoes, fire ze shot.