War jokes
What's full of lard and is reserved as Putin's cannon fodder?
Your mum!!!
What gun was used to kill Bin Laden?
An AK-BAR 47.
ISIS recently brought out a new shampoo.
Head and Shoulders!
Nah, I'm Hawaiian but I'm also Japanese. So does that mean I bombed my own harbor?
Why are Americans so bad at Clash? They already lost two towers.
Memes
Why is America bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost two towers.
"Ukraine looks like Fallout 4, woah!"
What is the difference between Obama and Osama?
Osama didn't kill innocent civilians with missile strikes.
A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.
When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.
Shout out to the terrorists, your year is starting off with a bang!
How many times did Rob O'Neill shoot Bin Laden? 911 times.
How many times was Osama bin Laden shot?
911 times.
What sounds did the Ukraine people make in basketball? Ka-boom!
What is Osama bin Laden singing right now?
*cue the little mermaid* "Undaaa the sea, undaaa the sea"
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
ā Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.
Why can't weapons play baseball?
Because they need to get to home base.
Why did the terrorist not go undercover?
Because he blew it!
Q: What do you call 9/11? A: Enemy persion airstrike.
Apparently terrorists and Japs are the same; they both went kamikaze.