War jokes
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
What do you call six gay men in a war? Rainbow Six Siege.
What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?
Tug of whore.
"Remember, switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
How did Hitler get killed?
With a "NEIN" millimeter.
My Grandpa killed 30 Air Force pilots in WW2. He was a very bad mechanic.
Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?
A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.
Steps to win a Nerf war:
Step 1. Take out Nerf bullets.
Step 2. Load hollow points.
Step 3. Win!
"Warning, all unsaved progress will be lost." - Sun Tzu, The Art Of War.
Why is America so bad at Clash of Clans? Because we already lost two towers.
What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.
Random guy: Come on, Bin Laden, time is ticking. Get it, ticking. OK, I'll leave.
*World War 2 going on and then stops.*
Me: "I guess you would say it was a gory-ious battle."
DEPRESSION SPEEDRUN starter-kit:
* Parental issues * Money problems * Genetic likeliness * Horrible friends * Annoying neighbors/classmates * School * Being alive * Actually being a good person for once * Giving a f#ck * War-ridden area * All future options kinda suck
Wonder why the Japanese people didn't see the bombs coming?
They didn't open their eyes.
Who ended Franz Ferdinand's COD account?
He ended with a Black Handed bang.
Q: What do you call 9/11? A: Enemy persion airstrike.
Why did the terrorist not go undercover?
Because he blew it!
Why can't weapons play baseball?
Because they need to get to home base.
Russia: "Silence."
Ukraine: Help...