War jokes
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn't all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
My Japanese friend told me a Pearl Harbor joke. I told him he bombed it.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Seven’s been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.
How do you become with NATO? Promise no more world wars by secretly performing military practices behind their back.
Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.
There was an enemy with a machine gun.
My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."
So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.
What did the orphans do when the bombs drop?
They said, "Allahu Akbar."
What did Paul Revere yell during a full moon?
The British are cumming! The British are cumming!
Q: When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?
A: Hiroshima, Japan 1946.
We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
Into little Nazis.
Why are Americans so bad at chess? Because they already lost two towers.
What first went through Sally's mind when the Nazis came? - A bullet.
What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?
At least you don’t die when you shower.
My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.
I don't like it when people make jokes about 9/11, because we lost 19 great patriots that day.
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
What's the difference between an Al Qaeda Base and a Pakistani School?
"I don't know man, I just fly the drones."
Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)
A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”
“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.
“Let me start,” says the son.
“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.
“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.
“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.
“Your right!” He replies.
“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”
“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.
“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.