War jokes
Why did half of the world not see Avengers: Endgame?
Because half of them were Thanos snapped in Avengers: Infinity War.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fourth of April.
Fourth of April who?
May the fourth be with you!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Gun. Gun who?
Wonder why the Japanese people didn't see the bombs coming?
They didn't open their eyes.
So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.
They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."
What do you call Hitler?
Gay.
Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. "They're in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes!"
Where did Sally go when she went in the minefield?
Everywhere.
Germany: As long as America stays out of the war, we should win.
Japan: *bombing Pearl Harbor* Cowabunga It Is!!
Me: I bombed the 2 tests yesterday.
Friend: What were the tests about?
Me: Japan.
In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."
Where did Lucy go in the bombing... Everywhere.
How did the British lose the War of 1812?
They were out-Britshed.
Apex Legends: exists.
Titanfall fandom: (Literally on fire and at war with itself) "Everything is fine."
Did you know my grandpa was part of World War 2? He killed Hitler.
Why were the Twin Towers sad?
They ordered Dominos and got Jets.
Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."
The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.
The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.
The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.
What do you call a country with nukes?
Abomination.
Say what you want about Hitler, but in the end, he did kill Hitler.
What do you call a retreat in war?
A backup plan.