War jokes
What does Donald Trump say when he declares war? Nuke them.
What does a pervert say when he declares war? Nude them.
You know, when women clean their nails with chemicals, no one cares, but when Hitler tries to clean Poland with chemicals, everyone goes crazy.
Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?
Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!
Random guy: Come on, Bin Laden, time is ticking. Get it, ticking. OK, I'll leave.
Two of my grandpas died in WW2.
Their tower fell over.
What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.
A guy walks into a mosque... then blows up.
What is the difference between an ISIS training camp and a school?
Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.
What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?
Hans Solo.
A war isn’t about who is right, it’s about who is left!
Why did Hitler get hit by a baseball?
Because he did nazi it coming!
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite TV show?
Robot Wars.
How do you know that the U.S. sucks at chess?
They lost two towers.
A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"
What did the little boy say to the fat man?
How many Japs did you get?
Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
What do you call the Spanish translation of the 9th Star Wars movie?
Rogue Juan.
How do Germans tie their shoes? Answer: In Nazis!
Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay guys can play Star Wars.
So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.
Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.