War jokes
Two Trojan warriors were patrolling the streets of Troy at night. It was finally time for their duties to be relieved. When they went back to their houses, one Trojan fell in a puddle. "Nitrogen!" The other called. And the other responded coldly, “Good night.”
A Japanese, Hispanic, and Iraqi man are in a plane. The Japanese man drops a bowl off of it and shouts "I love my country!" Then the Hispanic man drops a burrito off the side and shouts, "I love my country!" Finally, the Iraqi man drops a bomb and shouts, "I love my country!"
Not much longer on, a man walks by a boy who is sitting by a crater laughing non-stop. And the man asks, "What's so funny?" And the boy says "When I farted, my house blew up!"
I hate when I lose my white friends in the snow and my black friends in the dark. Where do I lose my friends from Afghanistan?
In an explosion.
After watching Star Wars 8, I have to say Snoke was half the man I expected him to be.
Why didn't the newest Star Wars movie start with the classic scrawl?
Because it was a Rogue One!
Suicide bombers, carry bombs and remember to breathe.
Where did Janet go during the bombing? Everywhere.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.
My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.
What's Bin Laden's favorite flavor of crisp? Plain.
"Ching chong, drop the bomb!"
Bin Laden was the hide and seek champion for 10 years, 2001-2011.
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.
Whoever killed Adolf Hitler is MY hero!
What do you call a paralyzed turtle?
Shell shocked.
What's the difference between an air blower and Little Boy?
When the air blower blew, it did not wipe out Hiroshima.
When you kill people in a war, it's perfectly fine, but when it's a school, everyone has a problem with it, wth.
"Why do people call Americans excessive?"
"It was probably because of WWII."
"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"
The point of war is not to die for your country, but to make the fresh recruit on the enemy's side die for his.
*Loud explosion inside the tank*
"Where's the commander?" "He's gone." "Where has he gone?" "All over the place."