Vs jokes
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What's the difference between the Christ and Anti-Christ? The Romans put sugar syrup on the second one.
How are a gay guy and a refrigerator different?
When you pull the meat out of the refrigerator, it doesn’t fart.
If an apple and an emo kid fell out of a tree, which would hit the ground first?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One's a good year, and one's a great year.
A Texan and an Alaskan walk into a room, and the Alaskan says, "My state is bigger." Then the Texan says, "It won't be when it melts."
What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?
Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.
How are feminists different from gorillas? At least gorillas don't abort their own children.
What's the difference between dark humor and normal humor?
Normal humor is ten babies and one trash can.
Dark humor is one baby and ten trash cans.
Scroll down for explanation.
Ten babies in one trash can; one baby in ten means that the baby was chopped up.
What's the difference between Andy and acne?
Acne waited until Adam could talk before coming on his face.
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
What's the difference between a priest and a zit?
A: One waits until you're twelve to cum on your face.
Expectation: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Here brother! I’ll give you my jacket, I don’t want you to be cold!"
Reality: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Well, damn bro, I can’t control the weather."
What is the difference between a nerd and leafyishere?
One is fun to laugh at, bully, and roast, and the other is just a nerd.
My sister thinks she's so smart. She said only an onion can make you cry, so I brought the belt out, and she started crying.
Me: If a skinny person goes skinny dipping, then what do fat people do?
My friend: Chunky dunks.